Finding Ava Read online

  “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you mad. I promise I don’t expect anything from you.”

  “Fine.” I said sitting back down and pouring another drink. She rips the bottle from my hand and pours herself and even bigger drink. “Should you be drinking this much?”

  “If you’re drinking then I am too.” I sit back eyeing her with disgust. “You know you don’t have to be such and asshole about it. I didn’t expect it to mean anything to you,” she said tearing up.

  “Mean something to me! Baby I don’t even know what you’re talking about. Do you know how many times my brother was chased by mobs of girls? I probably pulled a hundred different girls out of the way,” I steamed, while Ava curls over herself yet again, and downing everything she has. “Fuck, are you going to cry now?” Tears stroll down her cheeks as she shakes her head. “Ahhh damn it! We were having such a nice time. Why did you have to go and ruin it?”

  “I didn’t know that I was,” she whispered.

  We sit in silence for a time, both drinking what we can to get on to the next moment. “Listen I’m sorry I yelled at you but you wouldn’t believe how many girls make up stories to try to persuade me to be with them or take them out or whatever they are after me for.”

  “Well I’m not making it up and I didn’t tell you to persuade you into anything,” she whimpered.

  “Fine. I believe you.”

  “Besides the moment might have been nice but it wasn’t perfect. I ended up losing my locket that night.”

  “Your locket?” I asked unable to look at her.

  “My mother’s, it had pictures of her and my father before they died and then me as a baby,” she said unknowingly striking me hard. “Not that you care but her name was Lillah and that locket was all I had of hers and … oh forget it!” She snapped at me. Her blue eyes suddenly meet mine and my heart jumps, like it hasn’t since .... “You know what you’re right it is hot in here, I think I will change.” I stare blankly at her, everything I was planning for tonight is suddenly off the table. I don’t want anything to do with this girl. Ava returns wearing an outfit that suits her body much more so than the previous. Why didn’t she put that on before? I lean down lowering my head to look at anything other than her. Out of nowhere, she reaches over touching my hand. “Sean, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

  I can’t breathe. “Ava I’m going to bed,” I said getting up quickly but I am not able to take more than a few steps before she grabs my arm.

  “Why? Did I upset you that much? I am sorry Sean. I didn’t realize. I was only trying …” I take hold of her face causing a stillness between us that allows me to see her for the first time. My heart continues to pound its way out of my chest as she stands in silence watching me gaze over her, trying to understand what I am feeling.

  Without thinking, I move in until I feel her sweet breath against my lips. “It can’t be you,” I whispered into her mouth taking in one lip between mine and then the other. My heart easing its desperate escape, as I go deeper into her mouth, craving even more with every soft touch she returns. My mind explodes and I pull away from her abruptly. “I’m not going to have sex with you Ava. I’m not doing it.” I said turning away from her. No. I don’t feel anything. I am not having anything to do with this girl, it’s not possible … it’s a lie … NO!

  “I didn’t ask you to. You kissed me!” She yelled as I pace away from her. “I don’t understand you, you’re like an emotional roller coaster. I can’t figure you out at all.” Continuing to ignore her, she becomes even more emotional. “You are so exhausting no wonder you drink. Have sex with you? Which one of you would that be?” She smacks my arm gaining my full attention. “Damn you Sean, talk about messing up a nice night. Well that was all you baby, not me.” She is silent almost long enough for me to turn around and apologize. “I’m going to bed I have had enough of this.” She said huffing her way into bed, while I turn out the remaining lights. “Not that one!” She yelled at me. “Please.” I shrug catching her tear-filled eyes shyly pleading.

  “I’ll leave it on. No big deal.” I crawl in next to her as she clings to the opposite edge. “I’m sorry Ava, it is my fault.” I am not sure if she heard me since she doesn’t respond. I hope she doesn’t expect me to say it again, because I’m not. She heard me. The most annoying woman I have ever met. I don’t even know why I care whether she’s mad at me or not. I spend the rest of the night tossing and turning in the uncomfortable bed. I am not sure how much time passes before I hear her soft murmuring turn into tense flinching. I sit up seeing her lip quivering and her fists clenched.

  “I don’t want to be here. I want to go home please. Let me go, please let me go,” she whimpered getting more hysterical by the second. “NO! No, you’re hurting me. STOP!” She screams hysterically fighting me to get a hold of her.

  “Ava! Ava … Ava.” I wrap my arms around her, holding her and kissing her cheek until her eyes open filled with tears and that same desperate fear I saw the night before. “It’s okay it was just a dream.” She shakes her head. “Yes it was. It was only a dream. A bad dream.” I clear the tears from her face as she stares at me pitifully. I am not sure what she wants or even needs at this moment. “It’s okay, no one is going to hurt you – not while I’m here.”

  ~

  The night brings all new thoughts and exhausting dreams, only to be followed by another day of being restricted to the cabin. Ava and I spend as much time as possible avoiding talking to each other, it is an impossible feat.

  “I can’t take this anymore. Will you talk to me about anything? Something at least?” She finally begs me.

  Sighing I sit down and look up at her for the first time all-day. “Where did you go to school?”

  “Kentucky first, I had a scholarship to play basketball there and then I got an academic scholarship to do my postgraduate work at Columbia.”

  I stare at her. “That’s impressive.”

  “I guess, it wasn’t easy though. What about you? Did you go to college? And before you say it, no I didn’t read up on interesting facts about Sean.”

  Laughing at her smartass comment, I ease into my seat a little deeper. “You should you know it’s quite …”

  “Interesting?” She said with a smile.

  “Alright smartass, I graduated from VMI before heading into the military,” I said finding a ball and tossing it into the air.

  “Army?”

  Nodding, “Special Forces.” Her eyes widen and suddenly I feel good about impressing her. Damn Sean, get a grip.

  “Did you leave to get into acting?”

  “No, my mother needed help after my father died and once she got back on her feet I needed a job. So my brother who was already deep into it encouraged me. Of course, my mother encouraged us both.”

  “Did your mother want to be an actress?”

  “She was actually. She was doing plays when she and my father met. She stopped when they got married and I guess now she lives the life through us.”

  “Do you think she regrets quitting?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve always wanted to ask her but I never have.”

  “Your brother? Does he like acting?”

  “He stopped doing it when he met his wife, he didn’t want to live in front of the cameras anymore. Now he’s my manager.”

  “How does that work having your brother run your life?”

  “It was weird at first but he knows me better than anyone, so he usually takes care of things before I even have to ask. Plus, I know I can trust him, it’s not always that way.”

  “And you, you love what you do?”

  “Most of the time I do, there are a few things that I could do without. I love becoming the character and exploring other lives, experiencing other experiences. I don’t have to go to work every day and do the same thing for the rest of my life. At the end of my day, I still get to be me no matter if I just battled aliens or I stole a car and ran from the police. I get paid to
do the craziest things and not get into trouble for doing them.” I smile as her face brightens with every question I answer. “What about you?”

  “Somewhat similar, I always get to do something new, mostly anyway. Same surroundings but the projects are always new. I get to take what was nothing and create an experience, create a feeling or a song,” she laughs when I look at her strangely. “I am always inspired by something, whether it’s a color or a song or the way petals on a flower cross one another in just such a way to be interesting. Kyle says I am passionate, I guess that is true but I don’t want to look at the same things everyday and never notice all the uniqueness about every detail within them. I don’t want to miss anything.”

  “So how big is your firm?” I asked eager to hear her speak some more.

  “I have a couple of people working with me. Kyle who handles everything that I do not, he is my lifesaver. We have been best friends since before college.”

  “You and Kyle ever date?” I asked glimpsing at her from the corners of my eyes.

  “Me date Kyle? Oh no, I am nowhere near Kyle’s type,” She laughed. “No he is into other avenues other than me,” I nod understanding. “Then there is Anna, who answers all my phones, keeps my books and other jobs not directly related to the work itself. You should meet her, although that’s probably not a good idea because she will probably try to become your sex slave.”

  “Really? Is she hot?”

  “Sean!”

  “You brought it up. So where is this office that my sex slave works at?”

  “Stay away from her Sean.” She eyes me biting her lip to keep from my smiling. “I turned an old in-law suite in the back of my house into an office. Gutting most of it to make one big room but it works well thus far.”

  “How do you get projects?”

  “Word of mouth, past clients, things like that mostly and of course, Justin. I would have never been able to keep it going if it wasn’t for him,” She said smiling and seemingly remembering him fondly.

  “And how does Justin help you exactly?” I hold up tossing my ball waiting for her reply.

  “He’s a contractor. A good one and we usually go after projects together. We met on my first few projects and then he started mentioning me to new ones and he helped me build out my office. He’s incredible, better than I deserve that’s for sure,” she sighs playing with her hands.

  “So he likes you?”

  “I don’t know,” she shrugged.

  “He likes you, a lot from the sound of it,” I said smacking the wall hard with the ball.

  “Maybe but he has so many girlfriends I don’t think he has the time to be worried about me.”

  “Oh so Justin is supposed to be some kind of stud huh?”

  “Yes.” I glare at her as she sighs dreaming in another direction. “He has the most incredible muscles from working out in the field all the time, great tan, sandy blond hair and his smile …” She continued her gushing, nauseatingly before I have to interrupt the love fest.

  “I got it!”

  “You asked?”

  “I wish I hadn’t. So why haven’t you married prince charming already? And don’t tell me because he hasn’t asked because I am sure he would love to?”

  “Well when he kissed me…” I sit up straight, eyeing her entertained smile. “I’m joking. Gees, you act like you are jealous or something.”

  “I’m not jealous Ava, I am certainly not jealous of … Justin.” I throw the ball a little harder fantasizing a particular face on the wall. “So what about your parents?” She thinks I didn’t see her roll her eyes at me, I don’t know what that was about but she better stop.

  “My father died of cancer when I was real young and my Mom died in a car accident when I was five. I lived with my grandparents mostly in Kentucky.” I watch as she twists slightly in her chair and then catches me staring at her. “So what do you think of your brother’s wife, you don’t talk about her much?”

  “Abbey? She’s fine, she makes my brother ridiculously happy so it’s hard not to like her.” Ava and I both reach for the bottle from the night before. “You want a drink?” She nods, holding out her glass. I pour us both one as we continue to talk at least until Ava decides that we need music. I am so glad she found somewhere to play her sickening iPod, maybe the power will go out. At least that was my thoughts until obviously affected by the alcohol, she starts dancing and singing to the music. Bored beyond reason, I have no choice but to watch her hips sway and her body bounce to every beat as she sings her favorite part of each song. Why does she keep doing this to me? I am living a sexless nightmare.

  Before I can run into the storm screaming, she sways to me with her fake microphone and points it in my direction, “no,” I said looking opposite her. Again, she points it in my direction leaning over into my lap. “I think that’s enough alcohol for you.”

  “Come on Sean as least dance with me, do something besides sit here and brood all-night.” She pulls on my hands to get me up and again I shake my head. “Come on, if you don’t know how I can show you.”

  “I know how to dance.”

  “Prove it then.”

  “I’m not doing that kind of dancing and certainly not to this music.” I stand with her as she holds onto my hand.

  “Why?” She asked as I cross my arms. “Fine, pick whatever you want.”

  Immediately I change out her iPod for mine and to something a man would dance to and not feel stupid. “Now you come here.” Taking her hand I twirl her around to me and caress her into my movements. I nuzzle my face into her hair until I can’t handle it anymore and have to twirl her away bringing her back to me again after I calm. That works until she lays her head against my shoulder and moves her hand slowly up my chest and to the back of my neck, pushing her fingers through my hair. Comfortable and content, I allow my fingers to trail up and down her sides and through her hair. She sinks deeper into my arms letting me hold my head against hers. The warmth of her hands pull me into her with every motion we make against each other, drawing my lips to hers more and more ....

  Suddenly she pulls out of my arms. “Maybe we should do something else,” she turns the music off before returning to her chair.

  “How come we have to stop when you say so?” She curls up ignoring me, with another drink. That’s going to help. “You better be careful with that, you drink too much, and you’re going to be begging me to have sex with you before the end of the night,” I smile at her disgusted expression.

  “You have some ego!”

  “It’s true and you know it,” I said taking a drink. “But don’t worry, I’ll turn you down and make sure you get to bed safely but I would prefer not to have to.”

  “Why because you want me that bad?”

  I eye her harshly, “you know you could try to be nice to me, be kind to my ego somewhat. Despite what you think I’m not completely heartless.”

  “Boost your ego? That is the last thing you need Sean Grant. Your ego is in perfect condition.”

  “Come on say something nice to me. You can do it, I believe in you.”

  She glares at me before straightening with a confident smile. “Fine, I like your tattoo.”

  “The one on my back?” She nods standing up to meet me with a smile. I raise my shirt over my shoulders and turn to show her my upper back. Before I can prepare she begins tracing it with her fingers, sending arousing sensations through my body.

  “What does it mean?” She asked continuing to caress my back gently with her fingers.

  I glance over my shoulder at her concentrated eyes. “The eagle represents my country and my military career and then he carries an American flag in one talon, for my mother and a British flag in the other, representing my father. The three together represent me as a whole.” Getting more aroused with each touch, I pull my shirt back down and face her, “what else do you like about me?”

  “No, I’m supposed to tell you something nice about you, not what I like.”

&nb
sp; “Either way.” She rolls her eyes at me as I smile stepping closer to her.

  Suddenly she slinks away stretching and yawning, “you know it’s getting late I should get to bed.”

  Unbelievable. “Oh no you don’t,” I follow her reaching for her waist and turning her around to face me before she can hide behind the netting of the bed. “Talk, it must be good if you’re running away.”

  She bites her bottom lip and falls against me. Damn alcohol. “I’m not running away.” She lifts herself up on the bed falling backwards and I follow hovering over her as she begins to giggle causing me to laugh.

  “Tell me.”

  Ava runs her fingers through my hair, mocking my request. “Oh Sean, you are so hot, I love your dark sexy hair,” she said moving her fingers to my face, tracing my features while still amused by the situation. “Oh and your hypnotizing green eyes, your handsome face and oh these incredibly kissable lips.” I pause as she continues moving her hand down from my lips to my chest. “And your ripped abs make me crazy.” Caressing my stomach, she focuses on every line. Her hand lingers and not waiting for her anymore, I take my damn shirt off and return her hand where it was, silently she watches her hand move against my body. Taking in a single breath, I move my hand to her stomach rubbing her belly button through her shirt with the back of my fingers causing her to inhale. Feeling for the end of her shirt, I trace my fingers underneath it and across her stomach gently. Her eyes close as I move my fingers up, until I find her diamond, tracing around it and across her stomach. I hesitate until Ava moves both of her hands to my chest and feels me more aggressively.

  “Ava,” I whispered. And those beautiful blue eyes look up at me big and bright and that is all I need. I run my fingers across her cheek, licking my lips before taking in her soft lips and moving over top of her. She responds with wet, pressing lips. I brush my tongue across her lips and encourage her to open her mouth for me. She does and I go deeper, massaging her tongue with mine, drawing her into me more. Her hands wander my body freely while her leg moves up over mine. She arches her back and moves up further on the bed and at the same time presses her body into my intense erection. Whether on purpose or not she forces out my groan for her, “I want you.” She grips the back of my head moaning and breathing heavily. Damn, I want her so bad. My hand wanders further finding her breasts, tracing the edges of her bra before becoming impatient and pushing it away, taking hold of her supple fullness completely - unexpectedly, she jumps up and away from me. Holding my hands up, “I’m sorry, if I got carried away but I thought that you wanted me to.”